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God Told Me to Leave.... But I Didn't. Here's What Happened Next..

God Told Me to Leave.... But I Didn't. Here's What Happened Next..

Have you ever heard a word from God warning you about a person, place, thing? Is God telling you to do something but you don't want to do it. Are you IGNORING HIM? If you've ever received a message from God then you know that it's about to go down. You know that no matter how far you try to run (think Jonah) that sooner or later God will have his way. 

Here's my story: 

Back in college I started "dating" this guy. We were "friends" (what does that really mean these days), for a couple months before we started dating. But you know a guy is not your friend when you barely know him and are really attracted to him but call him your "friend." We'd only met for just a month or two before going on break for the semester so we weren't friends even acquainted for long. We were just attracted to each other and had a surface relationship. After retuning from the summer, we reconnected again meeting up at a party for a major school event. We danced together and pretty much sealed the deal.  The attraction was undeniable paired with us always seeing each other and living in the same complex. We hung out a couple times and we'd visit each other because that's what friends do. But deep down I was dealing with lust and letting it take over. I actually had a "boyfriend" at this time back in the city but we weren't doing so great because 1. it was long distance. 2. it wasn't  built on a solid foundation. 3. I felt unappreciated. 

So in my mind since I reasoned all these things out, we were already over. But I hadn't told him. My heart was already made up and I was out the door except he didn't know. So I cheated on him with my new "friend." Even after telling him I had a boyfriend (even though I wasn't acting like it) he still pursued me and it turned into us starting our own "relationship." 

 

This was really just a situation-ship. What is a situation-ship? A situation-ship is a relationship you have no business being in, it's when you get yourself into a bad situation and stay in it for way too long. Throughout this situation-ship I had an unsettling feeling about this guy. I knew in my heart that he wasn't THE ONE. We started messing around and doing things we shouldn't have been ,even though I was still a VIRGIN, I thought it was all good since I wasn't going all the way.

Slowly me not giving it up became an issue. I was leading him on and lust kept burning deeper and deeper. We got as close to it as possible. eventually I started thinking I may as well go all the way since I'm already here. But I didn't because I knew it was something I wanted to hold onto and give to the person I loved. I didn't want him mohave it also because I didn't feel safe and loved. I wasn't ready to share my soul with him. 

I kept praying about this "relationship" and God kept giving me visions about the guy I was with. I would also fast but then shortly after fall back into sin with him pretty much cancelling the fast I just did. It became an endless cycle of fasting, praying, playing, asking for forgiveness, and doing it all over again. God showed me his spirit and that continuing this relationship would be a very bad decision. It's not often that something gets confirmed to you THREE TIMES. I knew I had to end it and I finally did the last time and it literally blew up in my face. 

I could say my approach was a little too blunt, but I also know that if I'd ended the relationship earlier it wouldn't have tome to this point. Feelings were involved and I had no regard. There's a wrong and right way to do things and I could have been a little more graceful or Christian like in my delivery but regardless, it had to be done. It became a huge argument with yelling and screaming (from the other party) which scared me to death.  I'd never seen this side of my partner and though I'd pushed his buttons I imagined a long term relationship with him and thought "Is this how he'd behave in future argument? Would he throw things or even hit me?" I was that scared and relieved that it was finally over. This happened over the course of 3 months and it was the best decision I've made. I felt lighter, cleaner, more determined to walk with God the right way, and to hear his voice as clear as he'd made it that day. 

 

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